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Everyone keeps posting memes about how long January has felt, and I have to say that I agree completely! I guess January is basically the Monday of the year, so it makes sense.
This whole time I thought I was the only one who thought January was an eternity this year. We are going to Disney World in February, so I’m basically counting down the seconds until we are there, which doesn’t really help time feel any faster! (But I’m just too excited!)
Although January has been long, it has been good.
As a teacher, January never really feels like a fresh start. To me, the beginning of the year is August. That’s when I set goals and think about what I want the year to look like. This is honestly the first year ever where January has actually felt like the beginning of something new. Maybe it’s because it is also a new decade, but I feel this stirring of change which is refreshing.
Since I barely view January as a new start, I basically never set New Year’s Resolutions. However, this year I decided to choose a word to focus on throughout 2020. I chose the word “Steadfast” because I think it’s an area of my life where I need growth.
Steadfast: Not changing or losing purpose, unwavering; firm in belief and determination.
If you read my blog post about why I chose the word Steadfast, I committed to write a blog post reflecting on my Steadfast journey for each month. Not only is it a way to hold myself accountable, but it is also a way to practice being steadfast!
January- The first month of Steadfast
Honestly, I’ve been surprised at how well I have done with “steadfastness” in January. Have I done everything perfectly? Not even close. However, that’s exactly why I’m impressed. I have messed up but I still keep trying. As someone who has struggled with all-or-nothing thinking most of my life, this is a step in the right direction.
To keep this more straightforward, I’m going to break down different areas of my life in which I am trying to practice being steadfast:
1. Eating & Exercise
This month I surprised myself with how well I did in the food category! Nick and I try to stick to a “treat” schedule each week so that we don’t go overboard with eating out, desserts, or soda. We obviously didn’t stick to this very well over the holidays, so it was a little bit of a weaning process moving back into January. However, other than this past weekend we have both stuck to our plans and it feels good to be back on track.
I’m also really proud because I have been sticking to a workout schedule every week. As someone who just honestly does not enjoy any sports or athletic activities, this is quite the feat. I think I’ve only missed one workout this whole month! I have been trying to set attainable expectations for myself in this category, so I am committed to working out five days a week for 20 minutes. I can walk, do hand weights, do zumba videos, whatever. I get to choose, but I just have to do it. Giving myself that flexibility has helped me stick to my schedule so much better!
Something I am still working on in this category is planning out meals for the week and sticking to the schedule each day. We often end up shifting our plans around last minute or forgetting to plan at all. Thankfully the app I use to meal plan makes it really easy to create a schedule and stick to it, so I should be able to improve in this category next month.
2. Writing my blog
I am proud to say that I have been blogging consistently not just in January, but for the few months leading up to 2020 as well. I started this blog in October with a lot of fears, but one of the main fears was that I’d just get busy and quit posting.
To combat that, I created a schedule of what I would write about each week for the upcoming months. I have tweaked and altered the schedule, but I have continued to post each week. Sometimes my post goes up a day later than anticipated, but I’m still posting it. You know that saying “better late than never?” Well, I typically just decide to not do something at all if it’s late. (There’s that all-or-nothing thinking again). The fact that I’m still posting a blog even though it’s late is a big step for me, as silly as that sounds.
Despite this growth, I am continuously fighting the urge to completely rewrite posts that I don’t deem “good enough” or to just not post something if it’s not perfect. I really struggled with this when I was sharing my story with post-adoption depression because it was such a raw and honest piece that I was over-thinking how different people may view me because of it. I went back and forth with myself a lot over whether to share it, but I’m so glad I did! God really showed me what happens when you are steadfast instead of following the emotions of the moment. So many people reached out to me with their own stories of worrying they aren’t good enough or can’t handle things. To me, it was confirmation that I need to keep writing (even when it feels like some of my paragraphs are too long...ha!)
3. Reading Scripture & Praying
I have to be honest here, which means I need to tell you that I definitely was not steadfast in my bible reading and prayer life this month. Even though I had wins in the eating, exercise, and blog categories, this feels like a major loss. I always struggle to get back into the flow of things after Christmas break, and this year was no exception. On top of that, I was trying to focus on eating better, exercising, posting on my blog...and I forgot about what really matters.
As much as I learned about all-or-nothing thinking in 2019, I’m still learning more about it in 2020. I found myself thinking about reading my bible some days but then I’d feel this guilt about how long it had been since I had last sat down with to spend intentional time with God. I would tell myself “it’s been too long...you can’t start now.” What a lie from the enemy, right? It’s such backwards thinking. Just because you haven’t done something already doesn’t mean you can’t ever start. If that was the case, nothing would ever get done!
In the first half of January the most I really did was pray more. My phone broke and I was waiting on a new one for a week, which turned out to be great for my spiritual life! Instead of listening to audiobooks or podcasts on the way to work, I found myself praying. It was really refreshing, and I asked God to help me be consistent in time with Him...and it took less than a week for him to answer. The women in my house church are all doing a study together through the You Version app, which is really awesome because we can all see where everyone else is and make comments on what we read together. I’m only a few days in, but I’m really loving the accountability and community aspect!
Overall, I think January was a really great month of growth and progress. I’m looking forward to see what February holds (and not just because I’m going to Disney...okay, mostly because I’m going to Disney)! ;)
-Katie